Passionate About Des Moines
and the Moms Who Live Here

I’m Sorry Mom: Things I’ve Learned Since Having Kids

Since becoming a mom, I have had several “A HA” moments that have made me gain sheer respect and all the praise hands for my own mom. It sounds so cliché, but understanding the struggles of motherhood were not fully grasped until I had my own children.

I am also coming to fully grasp the meaning that we get what we gave our parents growing up…ten fold! 

moms what I've learned as a mom

These are a few examples of what I’ve learned about motherhood and my mom since becoming a mom myself.

Being a mom is truly one of the most earth shattering, soul baring things I’ve ever done, and it continues to rip me apart and build me back up, all in one day.

1. Moms are still people too.

We are defined by more than just our roles. Moms have dreams, goals, and aspirations that have nothing to do with motherhood.

For so long I only saw my mom as “Mom” and I took the things she did for me for granted. As I have gotten older, I’ve gotten to know the woman she is- her likes and dislikes and other parts of herself that are simply amazing and I overlooked or didn’t appreciate while growing up.

2. Moms will always see their children as their “babies.”

Even though I am in my 30s and my sister is in her 20s, to my mom we are and always will be her “babies”, no matter how old we get. This realization was only made stronger when I had my own kids. As my children have gotten older, my heart only grows more and swells with pride with every stage and milestone they accomplish. I can only imagine as they get older, this feeling with grow stronger.

3. No matter how mad my Mom may have gotten at me, her love for me was always unconditional.

There were times, though, that I FELT it may not have been. Now, I know differently. Every consequence and rule I have had to set for my own kids is done out of pure love and not without heartache despite knowing it’s best for them. Now, I know my mom wasn’t in the closet laughing giddily when I broke a rule and wasn’t allowed to do something fun. It was probably just as hard for her to dole out those consequences. Fast forward 6 years and it will be me telling Sophia that she will understand “when she has kids of her own.”

4. We’re all doing the very best we can.

Especially as a teen, I could have and did, point out all the wrong ways my mom was parenting me. And I vowed to never do that to my kids when I had them. Now, as a mom I know we have bad days, we make mistakes, and we aren’t perfect. But we’re all doing the best we can. Not only is it enough, but I also know my mom was doing the very best she could too

5. Help with housework.

I remember frequently squabbles over household chores that my mom and I had. We didn’t have specific chores but were expected to keep our rooms clean and basically clean up after ourselves, and help as asked. I remember the eye rolls, huge sighs of inconvenience, and major ‘tude I threw my mom’s way sometimes. Now, as a mom, I totally get it. Boy, do I get it. From the conversations with my husband about how I wish he would notice something that needs to be done and just do it, without my asking, to griping about the pile of stuff on the stairs that everyone else seems to not notice on their way up. #thestruggleisreal Now, that I am on the giving end of the sometimes incessant nagging, I feel my mom’s pain. 

Moms are pretty darn amazing, and I love that I’m able to relate to my mom now in a different way now that I am a mom.

What are things you have realized since being a mom?

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