Marriage isn’t always easy. My husband and I have been together almost 20 years and married for 13 of those. We got into a major rut a few years ago. We were focused completely on our young kids, and our lives together became almost like a business—no romance with lots of to-do lists. Marriage wasn’t all that I hoped it would be, and we certainly weren’t making time for Date Night.
We started taking a Financial Peace class on Wednesday nights a few years ago. Childcare was provided, so we signed up and attended. Besides being a life-changing class for us financially, it got us into the routine of having some time together every week. We decided that even after that class was finished, we’d still like to have Wednesday nights together—alone. Seeing as how we were trying to become more financially stable, we didn’t want to hire a babysitter and go out for dinner and a movie, so we figured out a way to do date nights at home. After the kids are in bed, we begin the date!
Here are a few tips that have helped us along the way.
I started with the most important tip of all! I block off Wednesday nights on my calendar and never* schedule any appointments with clients, family, or friends after 8 p.m. on those nights. It’s easy to set up a repeating event in your phone called “Date Night”!
*If we MUST attend something on a Wednesday night, that is okay—we just try to make up for it another night!
Make the Date Special
Instead of binge watching The Office on Netflix, we try to do something different on Wednesday nights. We love playing Yahtzee and have a 13-year scorecard of how many games each of us has won! We’ve made dessert or a meal together, watched a documentary, sat outside on the deck with a drink, and looked at old photos together. Just find something fun you both enjoy and go for it!
Plan Ahead with the 4 Ds
This is sometimes the best part! Our date nights include Dinner, Dessert, Drinks, and Doing Something (the 4 Ds). We each pick two of the Ds and plan for those. Dinner might include something that the kids won’t eat (buffalo chicken) that is just for us. Dessert is something simple like chocolate covered strawberries. Drinks can be elaborate or simple. “Doing Something” is planning the game or other activity for us to do. We both like being intentional about planning something for the other person that we think they will love!
Look for Ideas
Pinterest is FULL of great ideas for date nights at home. Listen to your guy to see if he mentions a movie he’s wanted to see or a dinner he’d like to have. You can suggest ideas for what you’d like to do, too! Think back to what you liked to do when you were dating—is there a way you can incorporate that into your date nights? Mini-golf in the living room? Dancing in the kitchen? And don’t forget to look for ways to spice up the night with romantic ideas, too!
There will always be a million tasks to get done around the house (laundry, dishes, etc.), but making time for date night has helped us connect with each other more than ever before. Those dirty dishes can wait until the next day!