Passionate About Des Moines
and the Moms Who Live Here

Three Words Every Mom Needs to Hear

Three Words Every Mom Needs to Hear | Des Moines Moms Blog

No matter her age (or the age of her kids), every mom needs to hear three, precious words:

You are enough.

You are wise enough, patient enough, strong enough. You have what it takes to raise great kids.

I know you doubt it, because most of us do.

You have days when you yell too much and weeks when the laundry never makes its way out of the dryer. The Tooth Fairy forgets to come, permission slips get lost, and the third call this month comes in from the principal’s office.

No matter what you seem to try, your child won’t stay in bed at night. You’re out of patience because neither “Firm Mom” nor “Flexible Mom” successfully motivates your kid to pick up his room.

Late at night, when you’re seeking that ever-elusive rest you so desperately need, you replay scenes from the day and question whether you parented correctly. You look at the moms around you and you feel like you never measure up.

You are enough.

Oh sure, it doesn’t feel that way. Motherhood is one of those rare positions where all of your training is on-the-job. You learn to swim WHILE swimming. You’re thrown into the deep end of the pool and expected to figure it out.

Since you’re smart and you’ve seen other moms flailing their arms and legs about, you give that a try. Failing along the way, eventually you figure out the rhythm of your stroke and how to direct your energy.

And suddenly, you’re swimming! You’re really swimming. The stroke is easy, your body feels light. You’re mastering these parenting skills!

UNTIL your kid grows out of that phase or your next kid comes along, unique in her own way, and your skills no longer apply. You’ve mastered the backstroke and freestyle only to realize the breaststroke is what’s needed now. Great, back to square one.

You are enough.

You are the perfect mother for your kids. Oh, you’re imperfect. I have no doubt about that, and I welcome you to my club. But, you’re still perfect for YOUR kids.

Whether you became a mom by choice or “accident” (P.S.: there are none); naturally, with help, or through adoption; God chose your kids specifically for you. He knew EXACTLY what they would need in a mom, and you’re it!

All of it – your history, personality, talents, and experience – combine into the perfect mix of what your kids need.

You are enough.

Even your failures and your mistakes. Your kids need real grace for their own mishaps, and you’re so equipped to give it to them. Your kids gain permission to try things and fail themselves because every day, despite your mistakes, you try to be the best mom you can be.

And that’s enough.

Your kids don’t need perfection. They aren’t looking for the most-creative, best-organized, always-prepared mother. They don’t need your A+ efforts or results to be happy.

They just need you.

They need your heart, your laugh, and your time. They need that extra hug and moment before bed. They need your apologies and your forgiveness along with your curfews, rules, and expectations.

All you can do is offer your kids your best. Sometimes your best looks like a homemade meal made from organic ingredients you grew in your back yard. And sometimes your best looks like McDonald’s.

And it’s okay because most kids would choose a “B” mom who is authentic, loving, and present, over an “A+” mom who is stressed, exhausted, and preoccupied with comparison.

Three Words Every Mom Needs to Hear | Des Moines Moms Blog

Maybe all it takes for you to give yourself a colossal break and embrace “good enough” is to hear,

You are enough.

Drop your comparisons, too-high expectations, and pressures. Let go of your regrets and stop “should-ing” all over yourself. Seriously, stop it.

Start embracing your real life and your real kids. Do your best (whatever that looks like!) and know that it’s good enough. You’re good enough. You are enough.

As moms, we don’t say this to each other enough, but we desperately need to hear it. Instead we post our kids’ achievements or our mountain-top parenting moments in hopes that everyone around us will draw a conclusion about us as mothers. A conclusion which has actually been true all along, before the successes OR social media acknowledgement:

You are enough.

What if we reminded ourselves and each other of this daily? What if we said, “You’re a great mom!” to the mom whose kid is melting down in the middle of Target? Or to the mom whose kid is wearing mismatched shoes because you KNOW she chose to lose that battle in hopes of winning the war.

The mom whose son just got caught for drinking needs to hear it and so does the mom who learns her daughter has an eating disorder.

Every mom needs reminding that she has what it takes to love, forgive, teach, and guide. A reminder that her best is all that’s asked for and God has chosen her specifically to parent these children.

So, tell yourself and tell your friends. Shoot, tell a complete stranger and make her day. It might just be the encouragement she needs to keep on swimming.

I’ll start: You’re a good mom.

You have what it takes.

Keep doing your best.

B is a good grade.

You are enough.

Now, it’s your turn.

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