Although Spanx are a glorious thing, and can make us women feel a bit more powerful, I am not talking about them. Today, I am reflecting on how instrumental healthy support systems have been throughout my life, and this year in particular. I’m also realizing that not everyone has all these groups present or active in their lives, but as moms especially, we need to be actively seeking and nurturing these relationships.
Oh, man. I’ve seen how families can be dysfunctional and devoid of the ability to support one another, but I have also seen how they can pull together and help each other out, no matter the cost. I have been especially lucky to have the immediate family I have. They have been the best support a girl could ask for. They have seen me at my lowest point and still love me all the same. Reversely, I have seen my family in some dark times and I hope that they can say the same about me when they are in need.
I have been blessed my whole life with wonderful friends. I don’t want that to come across like I’m bragging, but God has placed (and continues to place) quality people in my life. I truly value the friendships I have made over the years. I ask myself what I would do without the late-night chats, long distance phone conversations, or heart-to-heart talks over a cup of coffee. I don’t think I would want to know the answer. I know other Des Moines Mom Bloggers have spoken about the importance of female friendships, especially when we enter the “mom phase” of our lives. For some reason, this type of relationship is critical for mommy sanity.
I know people might have varying opinions on this one, but I hope you hear me out. For me, it has been essential to be a participating member of a Bible teaching church. With all the “stuff” I have been through over the years, I can definitely tell my level of spiritual well-being was greatly hindered when I was not plugged into a church where I felt both spiritually fed and able to serve others. Something was missing during the years I just attended church (or didn’t even go at all). There is power in belonging to a group that helps fill the void only God can fill in your life.
When life throws really hard things at you, being able to talk with people who are going, or who have gone through, similar things is SO important. Whether it’s DivorceCare, (Hmmm, have I mentioned them before?) AA, Al-Anon/Alateen, a breastfeeding support group, grieving classes, a special needs parents group, or something else. Just knowing that someone else has had a similar experience feels so good. There’s healing that comes with that. I am so glad to have met other single moms through Valley Church’s single moms group. If you know of a single mom who might be interested in joining us, please send them my way. We meet every Wednesday at Valley Church in West Des Moines. Childcare and dinner is provided. I have also created a Facebook group called Des Moines Single Moms; I’d love to be able to connect with more single moms that way. Simply search for Des Moines Single Moms on Facebook, ask to join the group, and I will add you. (If you’re a single mom, that is!)
As I said, these relationships are vital to every mom’s well-being, but you have to be careful to make sure that they are all functioning at a healthy level. If one or more are not beneficial for you, perhaps causing unnecessary stress or pain, please take time to figure out why. Decide if this is truly a way to support you as a mom/wife/woman and if it’s not, and can’t be fixed, then sometimes you have to let that “support” go. Sometimes that can be hard, but your support circle should be uplifting, not anything that will bring you down. Find the relationships that make you the best you, and celebrate them!