I knew having my girls almost five years apart would have its ups and downs. Over the last year we have moved through several stages that come with having two kiddos going through different phases in life.
The “Misunderstood” Stage: Tessa struggled with understanding that Mom and Dad were not focused on the baby because we loved or cared for her more. We talked a lot about the baby’s needs and how Tessa is old enough to handle certain tasks without our help and that the baby can’t. Tessa was never into taking care of baby dolls, so we enlisted her help. She would help bring diapers when we needed, hold bottles, watch bath time, or just help calm Amelia when she was upset. This also worked out because she could be with me and still feel close.
The “Helper” Stage: Maybe we set ourselves up for this stage. Tessa loves to help her sister walk, crawl, get toys, or just do anything in general. It does have its drawbacks. As any adult knows, corralling a baby or toddler to do something they don’t want to do is nearly impossible. We are always careful to watch Tessa when she is helping Amelia around and let her know that she needs to ask us before helping. But this also has huge benefits – another watchful eye around the house with a FAST moving walker. More times than I can count, Tessa has been the one to alert me that Amelia has darted towards the stairs, or was in the bathroom, or near the dog food.
The “Role Model” Stage: Ever since Amelia could recognize Tessa, she has been watching her. She has been chasing after Tessa since she started to move on her own. She wants to do anything and everything Tessa does. She is also not afraid to try anything she sees Tessa doing. (Note the picture – this was not staged. She did this all on her own.) We talk a lot with Tessa about being a good role model for her little sister and showing good examples of appropriate behavior.
I know as we continue to understand what being a family of four means, we will continue through many other stages of siblinghood. I am sure the next stage we will work through will be “My sister is touching my stuff” followed closely by “My sister is following me every where I go and I don’t want her to” tied directly to “My sister is wearing my clothes”. I can hardly wait!
