Letting Go of Control and Letting Dad Take the Lead

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Has anyone else ever come home from getting coffee with a friend or even a weekend away and been frustrated with your husband for not doing things the way you do them?

I am so thankful that I have a husband who is an amazing dad. He is more than willing to watch our kids and give me some much needed “me time.” But, I hate to admit that rather than saying thank you as soon as I get home, I have been known to fire off a list of complaints about how he didn’t do things the way I would.

Rather than notice all the good things he’s done, like feed the kids, put them to bed, and most importantly, love them, I am quick to point out that the dishes aren’t put away, there are dirty clothes in the hallway, and the couch cushions are still all over the floor from the fort they were building before they went to bed.

dad-and-boysIf you haven’t guessed, I tend to be a little type-A. I like to have a plan and stick to it. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is awesome with the kids. But he is definitely more laid back than I am.

When I had a trip for work recently, he was happy to stay home with the boys (as long as I took the baby with me!). I, of course, left him a list of meal ideas and possible activities or things to see and do. I knew I had nothing to worry about when I was gone, but I couldn’t help myself! The boys would be fed, clothed, and well taken care of.

I had to let go of control and let him be in charge. Even if that meant that he didn’t do everything the way I would.

teepee in toy roomOf course he sent me pictures of what they were doing while I was gone. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw that he brought the boys’ teepee down from their bedroom and set it up in the toy room. What a great idea! This is something I probably wouldn’t have done, and I know the boys thought it was so special to have it downstairs.

Even though I put the teepee away when I got home, I’m so glad that he had the idea to bring it downstairs. It reminded me that sometimes I need to break out of my routine and not worry about the fact that the kids want to dump out every single toy and make what looks to me like a huge mess. The toys are there for them to play with! So even though it might not make sense to me and it may look like chaos, to them it’s an adventure. 

Next time my husband is home with the kids, when I get home I want the first words out of my mouth to be thank you. He deserves it!

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