Motherhood is full of surprises — from the first baby blowout to your teenager’s first rebellion. Today, I’m sharing some surprising, and rather unpleasant, wake-up calls that are all too common in my home.
#1. Puke.
Puke is gross at any time of day. But it is especially unpleasant when you come out of a deep slumber and smell that first whiff of vomit. Just gross. Not a good way to start your morning.
#2. Sore, Sick, or Still Sleepy.
I think we can all agree that any time one of these three occurs, it’s a rough start to the day. I so wish that my kids would go back to sleep when they realize that they are still sleepy. Sickness is never fun to wake up to. Any goals or plans you had for the day are instantly cancelled, and your sole focus is getting yourself or your kiddo better — which can make for a long, tiring day/week.
#3. Pee.
This one deserves its own number separate from puke. I cannot tell you how many times in my mothering life I’ve woken up to my sweet little babies, walked into their rooms, and am HIT with an aroma of whiz. YUCK! Thankfully, my washer and dryer is now conveniently located right outside their bedrooms.
#4. Sink Full of Dishes.
I am one of those people who tries to get the dishwasher loaded and started before I go up to bed. There are definitely days that I say, Fuhgettaboutit — and just head to bed. But the next morning, when I come down and see that the sink is overflowing and I know I’ll be pulling double time that day trying to catch up, I am a little defeated. Nobody likes to start the day off like that! (I am lucky enough to have a sweet daughter who pitches in without whining — most of the time.)
#5. Loud, Foreign Noises.
Sweet little Drake likes to pretend… a lot. He pretends he’s a kitty and greets me with sweet meows and snuggles. He pretends he’s a dragon and shoots fire out of his mouth. He pretends to be a dolphin and squeak all over the place. He pretends to be a superhero (AKA: Iron Man) and “booms” laser beams out of his hands. My least favorite is when he pretends to be a firetruck. At 5:30 a.m. At my bedside. “Weee-ooooo! Weeeee-oooooo! WEEEE-OOOOOO!!!!!” “Oh, hey, Firetruck. Good morning. What’s the big emergency? Perhaps my bleeding ear drums??” Son, you are an adorable firetruck. After 9 a.m., please.
#6. Without a Greeting.
I love being a stay-at-home mom who gets to greet her kiddos straight out of bed each morning. Just not when the first thing out of their mouths is, “What are we doing today?” or “Where’s my iPad?” I take the sarcasm route and respond with, “Good morning, mother dearest. How did you sleep?” {hug} They usually grin and give in. And then ask all the questions.
#7. Late.
Don’t get me wrong, sleeping in is a favorite pastime of mine. Very, very PAST time…. However, it never fails that the mornings I actually have somewhere to be at a decent time, I convince myself that setting an alarm is silly when Mr. Firetruck will surely wake me up before the crack of dawn and I will have plenty of time to get everyone ready. Then, I slowly wake up, rub my sleepy eyes, and look at my phone… and WHAT?! He slept in until 7:40?! How? How is that possible? And why did I schedule anything for today?
#8. Video Games.
My three-year-old son, yes, just three, thinks he’s a hot shot with the video games. He loves playing them when he wakes up! Which turns into, “Mommy, can you help me do dis?” And there I lay, on the couch, at 6 a.m., playing Mario Kart. Or, even better, his sisters will wake up and come downstairs to play with him and they begin to argue about who gets to be who, or “Drake! Don’t do that! Wait for us.” It sets a competitive, grumpy tone for the day.
#9. Kicked/Elbowed Awake.
Whether it’s the sweet baby in your bed or your significant other, being jolted awake by sudden pain to the face/head/neck/booty is startling! Even if you are lucky enough to fall back asleep, the adrenaline rush from your wake-up call probably won’t allow you to.
#10. Smoke Detectors.
It never fails that our “low battery” alarms seem to go off at 3 a.m. It happens often enough that my children SLEPT THROUGH it the last time. So now, not only is going back to sleep impossible because I was scared awake, but also, I lay there thinking of extreme situations and how I would need to physically wake each child because there’s no way they are going to get out of bed if there is a real fire. Unless they are on fire. And then I’d have to find the fire extinguisher and put out the fire on their body… and… AND!
