We all have our dirty little parent secrets. Kara just shared her mom confessions last month. This time it was a free for all. All names and identifying characteristics have been hidden. These are real confessions of real parents, and some are just plain brilliant. (And some of mine are thrown in as well.)
But I don’t want to….
I’ve ignored a few disgusting diapers until my husband came home because I just couldn’t bring myself to change yet another gross diaper that day.
I bribe my children with chocolate every single day.
I throw away art work, very ninja like.
When playing Candy Land, I always give my kids the “special” and double-color cards. Not to make them feel good or to win, but to speed the game up.
If my kid pukes on my clothes and it can be covered by a scarf/sweater/whatever, it gets covered. No time to be changing clothes all day.
Last week, my friend’s husband listened to the Iowa Hawkeye basketball game with his earbuds during his son’s 5th grade music concert.
I started doing my nails every two to three days. So when a diaper needs to be changed or something I can say, “I can’t, my nails are wet.”
My baby wears footie pajamas all day every day except for church on Sunday, especially during the winter, because I’m too lazy to deal with socks getting pulled off all the time. And blowouts are waaaay easier to deal with that way, too!
Sometimes my daughter sleeps in the clothes she’s going to wear the next day to school. It’s one less thing to argue about in the morning.
Until my oldest could read I would highlight the channel column on the guide menu to avoid her seeing the cartoon pictures. Then I would give her options of the shows she could watch. This allowed me to filter out SpongeBob, Caillou, and any other annoying cartoon I didn’t like.
I might be slow training the second on potty training because diapers are easier when out and about.
I hate doing things like dying Easter eggs and carving pumpkins, so I let grandma always do it. I don’t even like taking them trick or treating.
I sometimes “don’t hear” when the baby cries overnight, but hubby does.
My two-year-old doesn’t know there are TV shows other than nerdy PBS ones.
I schedule hair appointments on bath nights so that I can push them off onto my hubby.
Just leave me alone!
After I get home from running errands, I sometimes sit in my garage playing on my phone for 20 extra minutes so I can avoid the bedtime/lunchtime/homework routine.
Sometimes after my hubby comes home from work, I go to the bathroom and sit in there a couple extra minutes and play on my phone to get some quiet time.
Some days I hand them iPads and pray they’ll leave me alone for an hour.
I pretty much let them have free reign of the TV so they’ll leave me alone, especially in winter.
All the food (and wine)…
We always wait until the kids go to bed and then make popcorn… just because we don’t want to share.
I hide food. All the days.
I didn’t tell my daughter about the toys in McDonald’s Happy Meals until she was five. I used them for Christmas stocking stuffers.
If I have a food or drink I don’t feel like sharing, I tell my kids they won’t like it.
I pretended Valentine’s Day was February 15, to get all the chocolate on sale.
I hide treats (brownies, cookies, ice cream) from my kids… and after they go to bed, I eat them! Although my oldest has caught me a few times. She thought that was sneaky and funny of me, though.
I now keep a special chocolate stash in the master bathroom. And sometimes hide in there when life gets crazy.
My kids drink milk while we get ready and then breakfast is whatever snacks I have in the car — goldfish crackers, Pirates booty, and sometimes cookies. Daycare does provide breakfast, but we usually get there too late to get it.
I lock myself in the bathroom and drink wine when they’re driving me batty.
I put them to bed and drink wine while writing fan fiction.
Pancakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Why not. At least they’re eating.
I sneak through their Halloween candy and eat the good stuff. I’m saving their teeth, right?