As I bask in the glow of the twinkling lights cascading from our trimmed Christmas tree, I want to capture my thoughts and feelings on your existence. We celebrate your magic in this house. We go to bed patiently waiting for you to arrive. We listen intently from our beds for sounds of your reindeer dancing on the roof. When morning comes, we tiptoe quietly down the stairs to see if we can catch you delivering goodies under the tree. (This year we are nervous how the cat will react to your surprise presence in the living room!).
I love the idea of Santa, because I grew up loving the magic of Santa.
But the children in our house are also getting older. They are starting to wonder how it can be real. They are hearing from their friends at school that the magic is fake. And they don’t understand. They are starting to question the enchantment of it all. And while the questions have been vague, I read between the lines and see the connections starting to form.
I don’t know yet how I will handle the real questions when they come.
When she officially asks if you are real or not.
Because once she learns that your magic is not authentic, several of your friends will also being to lose their appeal – the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny. I remember the moment when I found out the truth about your magic. I felt crushed as the world of make believe crumbled.
I want to protect these moments a little longer for our kids. I want them to sparkle in the innocence of Christmas morning.
They do understand the “Reason for the Season” and the true meaning of Christmas, but the spirit and magic of your existence is still amazing to them. I want to bottle up their excitement of coming downstairs Christmas morning, seeing an empty cookie plate, and gathering under the tree to see what has been left behind.
So Santa, this year I ask that you give me one more year. One more year of innocence. One more year of magic and sparkle. One more year before we have to explain.
One mama who loves the magic of innocence
P.S. Also, wine. If you could bring me wine that would be great.