National Adoption Month: Giving Thanks

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November is a time when we give thanks. It also happens to be National Adoption Month, tomorrow being actual National Adoption Day. Today I am celebrating and sharing my thanks:

family_kidsTo my mom and dad – thank you for always being supportive of finding who I am. Never once did you feel discouraged because I wanted to know who I was – where I was from. You stood by me through the ups and downs and crazy turns during my search and welcomed my birth families in with open arms. You taught me unconditional love – what it feels like to be loved and to give love.  Thank you for answering my questions when I had them and for being honest when you didn’t know the answer.

To my brothers – thank you for being a support system. To my older brother for braving the path before me in meeting his birth parents – for showing me strength in rejection. To my younger brother for not always understanding our feelings, but being there regardless – loving us as a brother does.

Adoption_Post_2To my birth mother and father – thank you for loving me enough to give me a life to live. Thank you for doing what seems impossibly hard by giving me to another family. Even though one of you is no longer on this earth, thank you for being in my life – physically and spiritually – and watching my own family grow.

To my half-sister and her mom – thank you for growing with me and loving me through the ups and downs of finding our relationship. Even though my birth father is not here, thank you for opening your heart to me and my family. With half a continent separating us, thank you for being close to my heart and sharing your love with me. I hope that we can continue to grow together.

To my birth families and their extended family – thank you for opening your arms and loving my family and me in ways that can never be explained in words. Thank you for showing me the history I never knew.

Adoption_PostTo my foster family – I have never met you, but thank you for caring for me for 52 days while I waited to be placed. Newborns are never easy (and apparently I was a handful). Thank you for caring for me day and night and selflessly giving me to my family when the time came.

To my social worker – thank you for working tirelessly to find me a home and to connect me with my parents. You have been a huge part of our lives – weddings, graduations, etc. Without you, I would not have been placed in the family I am now.

Being adopted doesn’t define who I am. But, it is how I got to be where I am today.

My life is full of love, wonderful stories, and amazing people. I leave you now with a poem that graced the walls of my bedroom growing up.

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother
Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one,
One became your guiding star
The other became your sun
The first gave you life
And the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love
And the second was there to give it
One gave you emotions
The other calmed your fears
One saw your sweet smile
The other dried your tears
One gave you up
It was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child
And God led her straight to you.

∼Anonymous

1 COMMENT

  1. Ashley, I am so impressed to read your article. I became acquainted with Jill, your birth mother, about 9 years ago on an Adoption Forum on line. I, too, am a relinquishing birth mother reunited with my oldest son for 16 years now. Participating in that forum, along with other birth mothers and adoptees was so insightful and helpful and we forged bonds with each other that still endure. Your attitude is so mature, open-minded and heartfelt. It is adoptees like yourself that help me to understand my own son who isn’t able to express his feelings very clearly. May your life continue to be happy, healthy and shared with all those who you love and love you so much too.
    Sincerely, Audrey

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