My Independent Daughter

Alternate Title: The Scariest Day of My Life

My oldest has always been extremely independent and very outgoing. From an early age she has wanted to do things her own way. I love this characteristic in her. She is not afraid to try anything. Trying new activities is an adventure for her and she braves them with fierce determination.

I was nervous for Tessa to start school. There is so much to think about when sending your five-year-old off to school. What I was most worried about was the bus.

She was so excited to get to ride the bus. We got in a routine where I would walk her down to the bus stop in the mornings. In the afternoons when I worked from home, I would wait on the porch for her to get off the bus. I loved watching her run down the sidewalk, excited to share with me all about her day.

It was the third week of school. I was working from home so I took my laptop outside when I knew the bus was set to arrive. I saw the bus stop at the first stop on our street, and I looked down at my computer. The next thing I remember was looking up and seeing the bus drive away. Tessa was not running down the sidewalk. I asked our neighbor girl where Tessa was. She thought maybe she was still on the bus. I ran through our backyard to the other street just in time to catch the bus driving away. She was not there. Panic.

I ran home and grabbed my phone to call the school. The secretary took my call and said she would check with her teacher and call me back. I called my husband at work to fill him in on our missing child. I checked with our neighbor who watches her on Mondays to see if she had gone there. She hadn’t.

About fifteen minutes had passed since the time that she should have been off the bus. Fear was starting to set in. I decided to just drive to the school. If she hadn’t gotten on the bus she should be there. I didn’t know what else to do. Then my phone rang.

It was the school. She had gotten on the bus. But she had gotten off the bus with a friend and they were at the friend’s house. They gave me the address and I headed over there.

They had just wanted to have a play date. It was a friend from daycare and they hadn’t gotten to spend much time together since school started. It was something so innocent that turned in to the most terrifying 20 minutes of my life.

We explained to the girls that they can’t just schedule their own play dates. That mommies and daddies need to know where their children are and how scary it can be when they don’t.

The next day I didn’t want to put her on the bus. I prayed when I saw the bus coming around the corner that I could be brave enough to let her go. I didn’t think I could, but I knew that I had to let her go. When she got home after school, I cried and hugged her tight. She asked me why I was crying and I let her know I was scared she wouldn’t come home again. She said, “You were scared? I won’t do that again, Mommy.”

I could not be angry with her. We had never discussed getting off the bus at a friend’s house, because we never thought it would happen. Even as independent as she is, it was not a scenario that I ever thought would take place.

Independence is a fantastic quality. I know as she gets older, her bravery and independence will only grow. Each year we will be faced with new situations we never thought would occur. And even though I worry, I would not change her independent character one bit.