My husband doesn’t buy me flowers, and I don’t want them anyway.
He loves me, he loves me not… oh, how he loves me.
The kind of love he delivers me isn’t a 1-800-FLOWERS type of thing. He sacrifices for me daily much more than $50 a dozen. And while like any woman I find flowers flattering, I love the kind of love that doesn’t wither and fade.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m all for romance. I think dating and other romantic gestures are important to the health of a marriage. In fact, if our current desires play out, we’ll soon be taking a romantic, snow-covered mountain, fireplace-cozy cabin, snowmobile-adventuring couple’s getaway for just the two of us (I’ll keep you posted 😉 ). But without the backdrop of a where-the-rubber-meets-the-road kind of love, wine and roses and idyllic escapes just don’t mean all that much.
Sacrificial love—that’s what means something. My husband does that. He loves me through the daily grind in the most heart-fluttering non-romantic ways, and that shows me, without a doubt,
he loves me.
1. He picks up the mail.
With as much as I have to attend to on a daily basis, sorting through mail is not on my list of things I love to do at the end of the day. When my husband picks up the mail—and deals with it!—it communicates to me that he cares for the affairs of our household—for us—for me.
2. He manages our finances and plans for the future.
Nothing gives me greater assurance than my husband’s financial prowess. While my ultimate trust and hope is in God and His provision alone, it makes me feel safe that He’s given me a husband who manages our money wisely. He is a good steward of what we’ve been given, and he makes provisions for the future. Through saving, forecasting, and regularly reevaluating, he does what he can to make sure the kids and I are—and will be—cared for.
3. He doesn’t complain when the house is a mess and I need a night off of cooking.
Who doesn’t prefer to come home to a tidy house and dinner on the table—or want to be the glowing wife in that scene? But let’s face it: I can’t make that happen every night—and frankly, he doesn’t expect me to. He loves me even when real life happens; and when real life calls for Casey’s pizza and a family laundry folding event (…maybe weekly…), the fact that he’s okay with that shows me he loves me all the more.
4. He supports me in my business.
My husband and I agree that being a mom right now remains my most important calling, but he also understands that there is more than motherhood that makes me happy. He supports me in the endeavors that bring joy to my heart, and by his approval of the things that are important to me, he shows me I’m important to him.
If the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, then the way to this woman’s heart is through a certain Styrofoam cup (ha!). I love Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, my husband loves me. He works out early in the mornings and swings through Dunkin’ on his way back home. It’s no small act of sacrificial love to sit in the Ankeny Dunkin’ drive-thru during the morning rush, and no matter how many mornings a week he shows up with my hot, black drink in hand, I’m always surprised and swept away by the fresh evidence that he thinks of me.
6. He gets up and goes to work.
It doesn’t matter how long the preceding day or how short the night, you won’t find him sleeping in or phoning it in. He gets up, he works hard, he provides well. And every morning when I watch him wake up to do it all over again, I smile inside because I know he does it for us.
7. He gathers us.
In our family, a lot of the “kid duty” is kind of my domain. I feed them, I educate them, I answer most of their (hundreds of) little questions and requests throughout the day—it’s just a mom thing, I guess. But when it comes to keeping the family pulled together, it’s dad who leads the way. He calls our family meetings, he suggests our family game nights or movie outings, he DJs our family dance parties, he gathers us for family prayer. “We” matter to him, and nothing shows me more love than the fact that he wants to be with us—and us to be together.
He loves me.
My husband doesn’t buy me flowers, but I know he loves me anyway. He shows me love in (big) little ways, and I’ll take that over roses any day.