Passionate About Des Moines
and the Moms Who Live Here

A Letter To My Husband

Dear Husband,

This stage of life we’re in, it’s hard huh?!

It can be exhausting and sometimes we argue about decisions, specifically- parenting ones. At the end of the day, we both collapse on the couch after putting the kiddos to bed, and more often than not, we both fall into our own separate activities to recharge. 

We met when we were so young- I was 18 and you, 20. So young. So naïve. And so excited for the future.

I remember late night talks, envisioning the life we hoped we would someday have. We talked about the house, the kids, and the jobs.

We got hitched when I was 23 and you were 25. And then we found out we were expecting two months after. We bought a townhome and began preparing to welcome a new baby into our family.

Still so young. Still so naïve. And still so excited for the future.

Things happened for us in a whirlwind fashion, yet in an organic, natural way, and I wouldn’t change one thing.

Yet, 7 years later, right in the smack middle of what we call life, I know things have changed. You’ve changed. I’ve changed. We’ve changed. Our love has changed.

Our intelligent, intimate conversations have been replaced with questions of who fed the dog, who needs to call the vet, and who needs to put in the laundry so Saidey’s blanket gets cleaned before she heads to daycare the next day

Our romantic, quiet dinners out have been replaced by whiney kiddos, a begging dog at our feet, and macaroni and cheese and hotdogs.

Our dates have been replaced by two little ones who still only want their mama and movie nights in front of the couch.

Our exciting couple adventures have been replaced by trips to the zoo, going to the American Girl store, and multiple trips to Target.

There are days that seem as though the only words we mutter to each other are “Who is picking up the kids,” or, “What’s for dinner tonight?”

There are days that seem as though the only touch we give one another is a quick hug as we are both racing out the door to work.

There are days when I know you feel a little left out in a house full of girls.

There are days when I know you wish I would throw caution to the wind and break our daily routine up more.

There are days when I know you wish I were more affectionate toward you.

There are days when I know you wish we had more date nights and time together.

This is what I can tell you:

I still love you from the tip of my toes to the strands of my hair.

I still get butterflies when I think of coming home to you.

I still have to text or call you first when something funny, sad, dramatic, or otherwise happens.

I still am excited about what our future holds. It is so bright, and I can’t wait to spend it with you!

I still need you for support, love, and a shoulder to cry on.

I still couldn’t imagine doing this parenting gig with anyone else besides you.

I know that things have changed, that I’ve changed.

But what remains is my love for you and my commitment to you. That is unwavering, solid, and absolute.

Please be patient with me, and know that someday we won’t be knee high in Legos and tutu skirts.

Please know that I see how hard you work for me and the girls and how everything you do, you do for our family.

Please know that I notice when you put away the dishwasher or run out to the store for an item I forgot.

Please know that I see you even in the messiness of appointments, tantrums, and bath time splashes.

Please know that I will need you when our kids graduate from high school.

Please know that I will need you when they move out and onto their own adventures.

But most of all, please know that I want you and need you there for all of it. 


Your wife


Have you had a similar experience with your partner since having kids? How do you reconnect with your significant other at the end of the day? 

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18 Responses to A Letter To My Husband

  1. Denaye | Simple Families January 18, 2017 at 4:08 pm #

    This is great, sometimes husbands get pushed aside when babies come! They need to be prioritized too 🙂

    • Shay January 19, 2017 at 2:23 pm #

      Deyaye- I totally agree!! Thanks for visiting!

  2. Kara Knaack
    Kara Knaack January 18, 2017 at 4:14 pm #

    Love this Shay. Life might not be the most exciting, but we’re definitely not about to “trade up” for anything else 🙂

    • Shay January 19, 2017 at 2:23 pm #

      Thanks Kara! =)

  3. Jessica Peresta January 18, 2017 at 4:24 pm #

    This is such a sweet post. I agree. We talk about all the time how this is a season and to still make an effort, as tired as we are, to still make each other a priority.

    • Shay January 19, 2017 at 2:24 pm #

      Thanks Jessica! It’s hard especially when you’re right in the thick of things but I’d agree- it’s so important to make each other a priority!

  4. Leah | Five for the Road January 18, 2017 at 4:27 pm #

    I love this! It really has changed but that love is still there. It is a nice reminder to tell each other that even when we are in the middle of the chaos.

    • Shay January 19, 2017 at 2:24 pm #

      Yes! It sure is! Thanks for visiting!

  5. Lauren January 18, 2017 at 4:28 pm #

    This is beautifully written. I admit, it made me a little sad to read, because it’s so TRUE! Thank you for sharing what we’re all already thinking. <3

    • Shay January 19, 2017 at 2:25 pm #

      Thanks Lauren!

  6. Taylor Monaco January 18, 2017 at 6:36 pm #

    This is magical, just loved it, and your heart for your hubby!

    • Shay January 19, 2017 at 2:25 pm #

      Thank you Taylor! Thank you for visiting!

  7. Ashley January 19, 2017 at 12:29 am #

    I can so relate to this, and it’s definitely a great reminder to me to reconnect with my husband and make sure he knows how much I love him – even in the thick of this new baby business : )

    • Shay January 19, 2017 at 2:26 pm #

      When babies come, we usually are so consumed by their arrival! It’s nice to slow down and remind each other of these things!

  8. Sarah January 19, 2017 at 12:42 am #

    It’s nice to know that we’re not the only couple smack dab in the middle of this season. It’s made us learn to really appreciate the little things we do for each other because sometimes, that’s all we have left to give. And it’s those little gestures, not the big frilly romantic ones, that really speak to us and get us through.

    • Shay January 19, 2017 at 2:26 pm #

      Yes Sarah! I totally agree! The small gestures are what count!!

  9. Krysten January 19, 2017 at 6:17 am #

    I’m sobbing here because I totally understand everything about this post. I mean, after having our little man, everything changed and we changed individually. I need to send this to him.

  10. Ashley @ simmerandsprout January 19, 2017 at 3:18 pm #

    Beautiful! Life often gets in the way, but these little reminders and the knowledge that this stage will pass keep us going.

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