Just a Little Easier

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new babyFive years ago I sat rocking my sweet firstborn as he screamed and arched his back from the pain from his fiery reflux and cried for hours on end due to the relentless colic. I joined in his crying with tears streaming down my face wondering when motherhood would get just a little easier.

Four years ago I chased a wild one-year-old around all summer, trying to stay one step ahead of him and to anticipate what his next move might be. I had exhaustion written all over my face as I wondered when motherhood would get just a little easier.

Three years ago I spent the summer fighting off morning sickness with all my might and tried to find the energy to get off the couch to play with a very curious and busy two-year-old. I often questioned how I would ever be able to handle two kids and wondered when motherhood would get just a little easier.

Two years ago I cradled a newborn baby in my arms and tried to find activities that would entertain the toddler for more than five minutes at a time. I ached for time to myself and wondered when motherhood would get just a little easier.

Last year I comforted a preschooler who had his feelings hurt by a friend and watched the toddler like a hawk as he tried – and failed – to do everything his big brother did. My heart broke as my kids’ hearts broke, and I wondered when motherhood would get just a little easier.

This year I sent my first baby off to preschool and have sprouted many gray hairs thanks to a two-year-old who knows no fear and lives for thrills. I am crushed by how fast time is going and wonder when motherhood will get just a little easier.

brotherly loveWhen I was a naïve first-time mom, I had a really hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I was pretty much positive that my son would battle colic his whole life and that the terrible twos must stretch long past the age of two and last until at least ten. But something magical happened when I had my second baby: I had perspective. I knew that each and every stage was so fleeting and that each challenge we faced then would disappear and be replaced with a new challenge.

I have very, very slowly figured out that motherhood absolutely does not get easier, but the day-to-day challenges change and the worries of yesterday are replaced with new worries today. Motherhood is always ebbing and flowing.

I know that even when I send my boys off to college, or watch them walk down the aisle, or cradle babies of their own, motherhood still will not be easy. So now I know that it will never be just a little easier, no matter how old my children get, because they carry pieces of my heart with them. I will always hurt when they hurt and long to comfort them, but I also have the gift of knowing that the hardness is worth every minute of wondering if it will ever get easier, because motherhood is so very worth it. THEY are so worth it.

I was inspired to write this piece after reading this post. Check it out for another perspective on the same topic.

2 COMMENTS

  1. I agree! Each stage seemed harder and more tramatic with the first baby, but now we have three and we can relax and enjoy all the good parts of each stage!! What a difference perspective makes!

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