Oh, Facebook. I professed my love for you last month when I talked about how I use Facebook to journal my kids’ and my life.
But, I do get how people have a problem with you. I mean, you scroll through your feed and all you seem to see are people all, “Look at my new this,” “Look at me doing that,” “Look how wonderful my trip/kids/relationship/house/pet/life is!” But, in my opinion, these are supposed to be my friends, so why wouldn’t I be happy for them? I don’t understand how people can get bent out of shape because their life isn’t living up to someone else’s. That’s not how life works, and maybe people who have trouble with Facebook have trouble with this jealousy thing in their off-line lives as well?
I know that when I post things, my intention is not to impress others with my or my kids’ achievements, although, I know it may be perceived as so. I tend to want to share the good times, and for that I am unapologetic. However, please know that for every triumphant moment, for every funny quote, for every time I feel blessed, there are so many unpleasant things that I am choosing not to post about.
Oh, yes. I said it.
My life is not perfect.
It is far, far from it.
Most days I feel like I am living in a reality TV show. Or the Twilight Zone. And my friends, those who know me, know that this is true. They also know how much I hate reality TV shows. But, I do love the Twilight Zone. (I just would prefer not to live in it.)
I mean, come on! I am single mother of two boys, I live with my parents, I am a substitute teacher, and I am still dealing with a court battle for visitation of my children. Those are things about me that I most assuredly wouldn’t change, but I think you know where I am going with this: that’s a whole lot of not perfect, right?
So, although I do get how people have an aversion to the “fake lives” portrayed on Facebook, I prefer not to look at it that way. To me, what you see on (most) people’s Timelines aren’t fake. They are just carefully curated memories, things that are worth remembering, things that are precious to them. And I, for one, love that.
And no, I am not lying to anyone by not posting my ugly stuff; I am just choosing not to let that be something that I want to dwell on, or even want to remember when looking back.
That being said, If I am dealing with something hard, I have been known to reach out for help or prayers. Most of the more private stuff I share in the various groups I am a part of. For me, that’s a safer way to share and get advice than by sharing on my wall that is more public.
My point is, if someone wants to judge my life by my Facebook Timeline, then yes, they will get an inaccurate picture of who I am. But, do I feel like I am being dishonest by only posting things that make me happy? No, I am omitting things on purpose, because I don’t want them to have power over me. I am better than the negative things in my life. And that’s my truth.