Why I Hate Co-Sleeping

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Why I Hate Co-Sleeping | Des Moines Moms Blog

Okay, I have to admit it. I think I made a parenting mistake. A big one.

It all started a year ago when I came home with our second child that I had via C-section. Our two-year-old at the time was still sleeping in his crib, but I could not lift him due to the physical restrictions I had. So, we got him a “big boy” bed. For about a week he slept in his bed like a dream.

Why I Hate Co-Sleeping | Des Moines Moms Blog

Then my life changed.

Not only was I struggling with the newborn sleep deprivation, but now I had a co-sleeper. I was a co-sleeper. At first I was okay with it. I wanted sleep. I needed sleep.

But it’s a year later and there is now a three-year-old still sleeping in our bed.

The bad part is that one of us needs to go to bed with him until he falls asleep. Sure, I’d like to go watch The Walking Dead and eat Ben and Jerry’s or have a glass of wine after the kids go to bed. But no; I’m trapped under a sweaty three-year-old with toddler breath.

At the beginning of us trying to get him to sleep in his room, we would just let him cry until he would finally go to sleep. My mommy heart couldn’t take it, as he would cry for two or more hours. Yes, hours. We made the decision to let him sleep with us. And it’s been a long year. The kid flops around in bed like a fish out of water, and it can take an hour or more to get him to sleep. It’s torture, people.

Why I Hate Co-Sleeping | Des Moines Moms Blog

Of course, I used my village to reach out for advice to see what has worked for other parents. I have tried the following tactics (in no particular order):

  • New bedding that he picked out (Paw Patrol)
  • A lamp for when it’s too dark
  • New pajamas
  • Candy
  • Cash money (yes, really)
  • Having a sleepover with his sister
  • Allowing him to watch his iPad

Obviously, since I am writing this post, none of these have worked.

I’m tired, I want my bed back, my pillows back, my freedom back, and my TV watching time back.

I’m waiting for him to finally grow out of sleeping in our bed and want to sleep in his own. Will this happen ever? I don’t know, but we can all dream, right?

3 COMMENTS

  1. Great timing sister!!! Our oldest slept fine in his own bed… Our 11 year old still sleeps best in MY BED. The 7 week old is STAYING IN HIS OWN BED!!

  2. Wow…this sounds all too familiar. As soon as we switched our 2.5-year-old daughter to a toddler bed, we have been struggling with her sleep. It got even worse when we weaned her off her pacifier at age 3. Then we had another baby and entered survival mode…we did whatever it took to get sleep (for everyone). She’s now almost 4.5 and had to have daddy lay in her bed with her while she fell asleep, and then when she woke up she would come to our bed for the rest of the night, which was usually before midnight. We had no idea when she would “outgrow” it…there didn’t seem to be an end in sight. But we reached a breaking point and had to make a change, even if she cried and woke up her little brother (who is finally sleeping through the night). We honestly considered locking her in her room…but luckily it didn’t get to that. We have spent the past month working hard to set boundaries – she has responded amazing to sticker charts (like a chore chart-type thing) for morning and bedtime.

    LAST NIGHT she went to bed by herself and never came to our room once. This has not happened in the past year, probably year and a half. We did our bedtime routine and then told her she could play in her room until she was ready for bed. The boundary was that she could not come out of her room until her clock turned green at 7:00 am. She wanted her door left open and a baby gate in the doorway so that she wouldn’t come out. She cried after getting in bed by herself, so I told her I would come check on her in 15 minutes. She was still awake then, so I gave her another 30 minutes. She was still awake, so I told her I’d be back another hour after that. Finally at the hour check-in she was asleep! I am praying it happens again tonight, after we celebrate really big today!!!

    • Oh momma! I feel you! Best of luck. We’ve got to try some new tactics when we get back from vacation. Thanks for sharing and way to go!

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