Empty.

1

emptyIt’s January, and it’s always colder in January than I ever remember it being before. My nose is cold and my toes are cold. My fingers are cold as they waltz across my keyboard. But, the hardest part about January, in my opinion, is the cold that starts to creep into my heart.

December is packed full of everything. Family, food, activity, gifts, celebration, parties, events, and most importantly… people. As a stay-at-home mom, I’ve always struggled with the empty coldness and echoing loneliness of January.

When my kids were younger, I was so thankful for the helpful hands family offered as they came to visit over the holidays. I could watch my kids ask Grammie for help while I was able to sit back and take a breather. It was wonderful to see my kids interact with other family members as they shared in the joy of the season.

Now that my kids are older, it’s still amazing to watch them converse with my family. They share ideas and viewpoints that are still forming. They laugh and giggle at family games that have gone on for years. They cherish all the moments of attention and love they receive from all who come to share in the fun.

Then January hits us like an emotionally frozen rush of wind and steals away all of that joy. The kids, who have become accustomed to lavish amounts of attention, are suddenly left with… mom. A mom who not only misses all the adult interaction but who is also left to face life’s routine again all on her own. No grandmother to sit over a basket of laundry with. No mother to wash the unending pile of dishes alongside. No grandpas to swap stories. Just an empty house without a hubby who’s returned to work after a long break.

I’ve struggled for years trying to make it through January. She’s a tough dose of reality. I’ve often wondered if I’m the only one who feels the bitter sting of January as she nips at the deepest corners of my heart. Am I the only momma who isn’t joyfully nestled in a warm corner of the house delighting in the background noise of my children? Am I the only one who is longing for the craziness of the holidays to come back?

Talk to me. Tell me I’m not alone….

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Marti Skow
Marti Skow is a boy raising, homeschooling, picture taking, blog/song/poetry writing, husband loving, work from home graphic artist. She has learned to graciously thrive in a house full of boys, living a life precariously between wedgie wars and warrior training. Marti has written several worship songs with her husband Josh and describes writing and poetry as her form of “knitting.” Some of her favorite things are good coffee (spelled Smokey Row), historical fiction and breakfast foods…preferably enjoyed together. Marti’s desire is to see the world as God sees it and to love His people as He does. You can read more about Marti’s life with boys at www.betterbelieveit.wordpress.com.

1 COMMENT

  1. You are definitely not alone. The bitter cold makes it so difficult to get out for that much needed vitamin D. And cooped up kids fray my already tightly wound nerves. Then you have to pack up the holidays- which is just never as fun as unpacking them.
    January is definitely a difficult month!

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