There are times when I question myself. I question my ability to parent, to teach, to be a good wife and a good daughter. Sometimes I see friends on social media who are doing it all and being it all. They are outstanding in ways I am not (or so it looks that way). I often think, Am I good enough?
When I wake up at 5 a.m. just to get an hour of “me” time before the rest of the family gets up, I often scour social media to see what my friends are up to. And then the feelings and questioning start. Oh man, her child is potty trained already and he is younger than mine. What is wrong with him? What am I doing wrong? Should I take time off work and really commit to it? These are the 30 seconds of thoughts you have before scrolling on by.
But this got me to thinking — why do we put standards on ourselves? I often finding myself comparing my children, my parenting practices, and even activities that I do/do not do with my children with other people’s. Why? Why do I do this to myself?
This happens everywhere. At the pediatrician’s with the percentiles of growth. At school, at play dates, or at sports activities with how your child is progressing against his or her peers. I think we do it without thinking. We are constantly judging ourselves and our children.
For me, it was a realization that yes, I want to be a better parent. I want to grow, learn, and be the best mommy for my babies. But I will NOT get there by comparing myself or my children to others. Just because I buy my children’s birthday cakes doesn’t make me any less of a good mom. For me, it means I do what works best for me and my family. And dang it, I’m doing a heck of a job.
So as this new year begins, I challenge you to stop comparing yourself to other moms. Stop comparing your children to other children, and just be enough.
Because I am good enough and you are good enough.