Sometimes: Real Moments from Life as Mom

Do you ever feel like there is nothing certain and absolute about Life as Mom? So very little from the days we spend in the trenches of motherhood can be predicted or controlled; and so many of the best of intentions for those days are later found forgotten or unreached.

I wish I could say that I always have my mommy act together. I wish I could say that my kitchen counters are always clean, that the next meal is always in progress, and that soon-regretted words never escape my mouth. I wish I could say that my husband’s shirts are always ironed, that my bedroom is always neat and tidy, and that I write to my grandma once a week without fail.

But the truth is, I DO fail. On each of these fronts and more—and probably more often than not—I fall short of the ideal absolute. My “always” and “never” are more like “usually” and “sometimes”; and try though I might, the ideals aren’t achieved.

But here’s the beautiful thing I’m realizing: that the real stuff of motherhood often lies in those “sometimes” moments.

My girls practically live at their art table. Claiming a prime spot in the corner of the living room, that table is almost always covered in markers, glue sticks, and tiny bits of cut up construction paper. My ideal absolute is to always make the girls clean up their own artistic messes. But sometimes I cave and do it myself, only to find a beautiful gem of a childlike masterpiece that gives me pause as I smile and ponder the creative minds of my littles.

That’s the real stuff of motherhood.

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My six-year-old daughter is the biggest saver of stuff you can imagine. Things that look like trash to me truly are treasure to her. Her saving habit can become problematic given the size of the small bedroom she shares with her twin sisters, so her dad and I occasionally have to walk her through a necessary purging of some of it. One evening as she and I were working through this somewhat painful process, I picked up (yet another) folded up piece of paper and said with what may have been a slight edge of irritation in my voice, “Amariah, what IS this?! Why are you keeping this?”

She gently took the paper from my hand and pulled it close to her chest. The sentimental look in her eyes was worth a thousand tear-jerking words as she opened the paper to reveal what was inside: the handmade birthday card I had drawn for her over a year prior. “Amariah, you’ve kept that all this time?” My whispered words made evident the understanding surprise and sweet gladness that flooded my heart. “Mama, how could I throw it away?…”

Though I like to think I always know what I see, I sometimes discover that things aren’t what they appear to be.

That’s the real stuff of motherhood.

In every facet of motherhood, I continually fall short of the absolute ideal. But I’m learning to be okay with that. Because sometimes the greatest beauty is found when “always” isn’t achieved.