“So, I have some cancer.”

These life changing words came out of my beautiful 54-year-old mother’s mouth during a road trip to visit my brother and his family one hot August day in 2008. That exact moment will forever be engraved in my mind – her right eyebrow arched as she cleared her throat, her hand trembled as she grabbed mine to comfort me, and the tears just gushed from our twin-like brown eyes.

She had been diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. A healthy 54-year-old woman who was hiking trails in Colorado with my dad one week before her diagnosis – how could this be? She had always had her yearly woman’s exam, she regularly saw her family doctor for illness and vaccines. And the ironic part is that tests showed her ovaries looked normal. However, she had a tumor growing near her colon and nine tumors in her liver. Her prognosis was not good. We all broke down and started praying after doctors told her they were not sure whether she would survive to see her first granddaughter turn one that December.

But she fought.

Countless rounds of chemo. Several surgeries. Cyber knife treatments for tumors that eventually spread to her brain. She took medicine at all hours of the day. She was always going to the doctor, coming from the doctor, or waiting for the doctor to call with test results. And I’m not sure how she did it, but she fought her cancer with such grace and with a smile on her face most days. She said her disease made her focus on what was really important in life. It made her slow down and appreciate the little things. She fully consumed herself with spending time with those she loved. Not only did she see her first granddaughter turn one in December of 2008, she welcomed two more granddaughters also – one in October of 2009 and another in April of 2010. Those three little girls lifted her spirits and kept her fighting.

But as the doctors warned us, the chemo that was originally effective at shrinking her tumors was no longer working. She tried various kinds, but after three and a half years, the cancer was spreading and the doctors weren’t sure there was much else that could be done. That news is hard to take after spending years at doctor’s appointments, having them fight right alongside our family.

My mom fought a hell of a fight. The emotional strength she had during her battle with ovarian cancer is admirable. She had come to terms with her fate, she found comfort in her faith, and she did anything and everything she could to make the inevitable easier on her friends and family. She wrote her own obituary. She met with our pastor and provided a list of scriptures and songs she wanted played at her funeral. She picked out a beautiful granite bench so those visiting the cemetery would have a place to sit and remember her. And she crammed as many life lessons as she could into the heartbreaking talks we had those last few months.

One morning in May of 2012 my dad drove my mom down our farm lane for the last time. She never returned to sit on our porch where so many of our family memories were made. Her beloved labs never saw her again. The cancer was winning. My mom spent three weeks in hospice. Someone once told me she was already an angel on earth, but she got her wings on May 30, 2012.

My mom wasn’t only my mother – she was my best friend. Life without her is so hard. She never got to meet my son; and my daughter, who was two when she passed, has very few memories of her grandma. This past Sunday would have been my parents’ 40th wedding anniversary — I can only imagine how hard that was for my dad.

Our family continues to honor her memory, and spreading awareness about ovarian cancer is something she would be happy we are doing. No one deserves to lose someone they love so much at such a young age. What these three sweet girls wouldn’t do to have their grandma back.

Ovarian Cancer Awareness

Ovarian cancer is the deadliest gynecologic cancer in the United States, yet many people are not aware of the symptoms. So do me two favors after reading this blog post:

1. Hug your mom, your sister, your daughter, your grandma a little bit tighter next time, and make sure she knows how much you love her.
2. Take two minutes out of your hectic day to read the symptoms of ovarian cancer. Click on the link below to learn more, and then forward the information to every woman you love.

Research, awareness, listening to your own body – these could help catch ovarian cancer in the earlier stages and even save a life.

Potential Signs and Symptoms of Ovarian Cancer:

• Bloating
• Pelvic or abdominal pain
• Trouble eating or feeling full quickly
• Feeling the need to urinate urgently or often
• Fatigue
• Upset stomach or heartburn
• Back pain
• Pain during sex
• Constipation or menstrual changes

Visit the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition’s website for more information about ovarian cancer.

If you want to read more about my mom’s cancer journey, visit my blog, Remembering JoAnn.

Meet Guest Blogger Jill Garton

Wife to Tim and mom to four-year-old daughter Gabryel and seven-month-old son Jack, Jill is an Endangered Species Biologist. Born and raised in small town central Iowa, she graduated from Iowa State University before spreading her wings in Kansas City and Tucson. Upon starting her own family and learning of her mom’s cancer diagnosis, Jill returned to the only place that ever really felt like home. She enjoys walks with her dog, hanging out with friends and family, and creating fun memories with her kiddos.