Passionate About Des Moines
and the Moms Who Live Here

The Mom I Am Not

Moms, I have a secret. It took me a long time to discover this, but once I did, I realized it was the key to my confidence in myself as a mom.

It reminds me that I am good enough. That I am doing a great job. Even when I feel like I am failing.

Here’s my secret:

I am not good at a lot of things. In fact, there are some things I am terrible at. But, there are some things I am great at.

In a world where social media reminds us of what other moms are (or are not) doing, it’s easy to focus on our flaws or where we fall short, and dwell on the things we wish we were better at.

Do any of these things sound familiar?

I wish I had the time and know-how to make a perfectly healthy and delicious meal that my entire family will eat as we all sit down and eat dinner together.

I wish I were better at being crafty, whether making fun craft projects for (or with) my child or having Pinterest-worthy DIY living room décor.

Does it make me a lazy parent to want to be at home playing with my child instead of trying to fit as much adventure and creativity into our time together as possible? 

It is easy to get caught up in what we think we are not good at when we are looking at everyone else except ourselves.

Moms, stop looking at what everyone else is supposedly doing right (and what we think we are doing wrong). It’s time start looking at what we are doing that makes us awesome.

When I focus on the things I am great at, I find the most peace and realize I am, in fact, great mom.

When I let go of trying to be someone I’m not, and recognize that I can’t be good at all the things, I find sanity.

the-mom-i-am-not

By recognizing the mom I am not, I can more clearly see the mom that I am.

I am not a mom who makes Pinterest projects.

I have a Pinterest account that I haven’t used in years. If my child needs a costume, I’ll buy it at a thrift store or scour the internet for just the right one. Homemade gifts for the classroom for holidays or other occasions? I’d much rather give store-bought gifts (someday with a handwritten note from my child) to her classmates and/or her teacher. When it comes to trying to make something homemade and be creative for a crowd, it just stresses me out. I have other things I would rather over-think and spend way too much time on.

I am a mom who is thoughtful about the details.

If my daughter mentions there is something she likes, I will remember and treat her for her birthday or a holiday – or even just because. I am a mom who will happily take the time to buy something special and thoughtful for my daughter that I could never make myself.

I am not a mom who makes healthy, organic meals every night of the week.

I don’t have the time, patience, or budget to eat perfectly balanced meals with all the vegetables and none of the grease. Do we eat fast food? Sometimes, but not that often. And that’s OK.

I am a mom who plans and cooks meals for my family so we can all eat dinner together.

The meals I make are relatively healthy, balanced, and budget friendly. Some nights I delegate my husband to cook. Some Many nights we have leftovers. I tend to cook large meals that stretch a few nights. Many staples in our house come from Iowa Girl Eats and Allrecipes.com, along with our favorite family recipes.

I am not a mom who goes out and about with my child nonstop.

We don’t go on playdates, adventures, classes, vacations, or other things to keep myself and my daughter busy. I am a bit of a homebody. I like to get out and do fun things every now and then, but the idea of endless entertainment is exhausting. I like to relax and just simply enjoy each other’s company.

I am a mom who spends quality time with my family.

I’m not too busy to read books or watch IPTV way too early on a Saturday morning. My daughter and I have our routines and activities we like to do together, like going to the park, coloring with sidewalk chalk, or going for a walk in the neighborhood. But I also like to let my toddler use her imagination and follow along in her play. The most fun we have together as a family seems to be when we’re at home being silly together.

I am not a mom who is trendy.

I’m not going to apologize for my own fashion (or lack thereof). Most of my wardrobe is from Target and Old Navy. And (most of) my daughter’s clothes are either hand-me-downs, from a thrift store, or from Target or Old Navy, like her momma.

I am a mom who is practical and frugal.

I save money where I can so I can splurge on something special (or just plain necessary) every now and then. I am a mom who wants to teach my daughter that it doesn’t matter what label is on your clothes or how perfect you look on the outside. I want to teach her to value herself in her own skin and find her own sense of style someday.

Moms, I could go on. There are a lot of things I’m not. But you know what? That’s OK.

I am not supermom. I can’t be the best at everything. But I can be good at many things. And great at a few things. And that’s what makes me a great mom.

What are you great at?

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