The Best Marriage Advice I Can Give

I’m not gonna lie…. There are many times I take stock of my life and wonder, How did I get here?

Because, looking at my rocky past, it is only by God’s grace that I am alive, much less happily married with two daughters.

In all honesty, the cards were stacked against me ever getting married, let alone having a marriage that would last. (It’s a really, really long story, filled with pain, abuse, self-hatred – all the things that make a really gripping novel – but if you want to know it, I’m happy to share. Just drop me an email.)

As my husband and I approach our 11th anniversary, I was wondering how our marriage has lasted as we have watched others crumble. And I could only hit upon one thing.

We put each other before everyone else.

That’s it.

I am Doug’s wife before I am the mother of his children. He is my husband before he is my daughters’ father. We are each other’s spouses before we are children, brothers, sisters, friends. We are first in each other’s lives.

I know that seems simple when written – but really, it’s not. Especially when your kids are small and need you. Every. Minute. Of. The. Day.

Oh, I’m sure there is more we have done that makes a difference – taking time for each other, communicating (and not only about the kids), being affectionate… all the things you read over and over in marriage advice columns.

But, without the base of knowing we are first in our spouse’s eyes, I don’t think anything else has a foundation to build upon.

Do you find that advice to be too simple? Do you think there ought to be more to the foundation of a good marriage?

The Hotel Pattee wants to help one reader put her marriage first. 

(editor’s note: this giveaway is now closed)

The Hotel Pattee is a beautiful boutique hotel located in Perry, just 30 minutes from Des Moines. The classic charm of the hotel is evident the moment you walk through the door and are greeted by high, chandeliered ceilings and a huge stone fireplace in the lobby.

Each room at the Hotel Pattee has a theme. For this special evening, the hotel has kindly offered their most stunning suite – the Louis Armstrong Room. A luxurious two-room suite where the jazz great would stay when his shows brought him to Des Moines, the lush room invites you to relax with your partner in the comfortable sitting room or to enjoy the large Jacuzzi bath.

In addition to a romantic evening stay, the Copper Door Spa at the Hotel Pattee has generously included a couples massage and a pampering facial.

You’ll want to explore the hotel, maybe bowl a couple games in the two-lane bowling alley, or unwind in the steaming hot tub. Curl up for a bit in the quiet library or enjoy a drink in the InterUrban Lounge. And while you might be tempted to order room service for your romantic evening in, you’ll want to venture into David’s Milwaukee Diner for breakfast before you leave.