Fall in Love Again

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fallinloveagain3SLAM!

A door slams upstairs after a correction. Our middle child sure does flare up fast. I need to get up there quickly to diffuse the even bigger bomb that is about to go off. But before I do that, I need to get myself in check. Am I responding to her with anger for her “not getting it” or for disrespecting me? Or am I responding to her with love that overcomes anger? The only way she will receive me is if I show love. That needs to be my choice, whether I am eager about it or not. (Six minutes have passed….) I fly up the stairs and knock….

“Go away!! I don’t want to talk to you right now!”

“Lili, please let Mommy in so I can help you calm down.”

“No.”

I try the door handle. She does not have a lock on her door. But, she does have a bed…. And as I push on the door and it knocks against something, I realize that she has moved her bed in front of the door so that I can’t get in. That’s how sure she is that she doesn’t want to talk to me. She’s seven. And she moved her entire bed to block me out of her room. Yeah, I know, “wait til she’s 13.”

“Liliana, you need to move your bed right now, please.”

Knocking against the wall… the door….

“Fine. There.”

I enter, cautiously. By this time, I have called in backup. Dad is right by my side. We peek in and don’t see her anywhere.

“What?”

Her voice comes from under her bed. Tucked up in the corner. Dad takes the lead and goes in.

As he diffuses the bomb, I sit outside the door and listen. I listen and learn from his patience with her. His problem-solving abilities. The way he walks her through her emotions and responses, and how he relates to those emotions himself. I fall in love with him all over again. He handled it beautifully. I am equal parts impressed and jealous that it seemed so easy.

Later that night, after we have made up, I set her up with a movie in my room. A half an hour later, I go up to check on her and she is passed out! (Explains the bomb earlier!) Seeing her sleeping face in that moment… remembering her as an innocent, sweet infant. Thinking of her aggravated, emotional face earlier and now remembering it as the face that I first fell in love with nearly eight years ago, and I fall in love all over again. These babies of mine are so grown, so big, and yet still so small. Still needing Mom and Dad. To talk them down and talk them through a tough day.

I am thankful for these moments that our hearts swell, and we fall for them again and again. That love, that unconditional love is what makes parenting sweet and survivable. Because it goes both ways. They love us on our worst days, too. And for that, I am grateful indeed.

fallinloveagain2

Can you recall a time that you fell in love with your spouse or child for a second… third… one-hundredth time?

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