I could not wait to meet my second daughter. Is she going to look like Jaya? Is she going to have the same personality? Probably not, but she is going to be perfect… just like Jaya.

I pushed and I pushed. Lungs wailing, I finally saw the back of her head… a head full of dark hair. I thought, “Wow…she has different hair than Jaya.”

Little did I know, that was not the only characteristic different from my other daughter.

At that moment, as they turned her head, I had no idea what was about to happen to me. I had no idea how my life was going to change… significantly. I looked into the eyes of my brand new beautiful baby girl, and I knew. Mila has Down syndrome. My beautiful, perfect baby girl has Down syndrome. Please accept me, Mommy…. Please love me, Mommy…. I know I’m not what you expected, but I’m here. Love me.

I could write more about the birth story of Mila, along with the fertility issues we’ve had and about the several miscarriages we’ve endured, but all of this would be far too long for this post. Most cannot even begin to understand the emotion and anxiety we have gone through these past few months; and I would love to put my feelings into words, but for the purpose of this post I am focusing on Down syndrome. I am certainly no expert…. Mila is only 5 months old. I am a novice; there is much for me to learn during this journey she has begun to take me on.

I am writing this because October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month, and I want to bring awareness to a subject I had zero knowledge of the day my Mila was born. The fact that I had no knowledge significantly contributed to the fear and ignorance I possessed. If there is anything I can do to help others become more educated, I am on board.

What is Down Syndrome?

The most common form of Down syndrome is Trisomy 21, which is what Mila has. She has 47 chromosomes instead of the usual 46 in each of her cells. This resulted from an error in cell division prior to – or at – her conception. A pair of the 21^st chromosomes in either the sperm or the egg failed to separate, adding the extra chromosome. As the embryo developed, that extra chromosome was replicated in every cell of her body. This occurs in one out of every 800 to 1,000 live births.

More than 350,000 people in the United States of all different ages, races, and economic levels have Down syndrome, and opportunity for people who have the condition today is miles ahead from what it was 20, 10, or even 5 years ago. They are active participants in the social, vocational, educational, and recreational aspects of our communities. Each year, more and more people with Down syndrome are graduating from high school, going to college, working, and living independently. Some are even learning how to drive.

Please recognize that people with disabilities are extremely CAPABLE and can and will contribute to society in many ways. My Mila is going to do all of this; she just needs love, support, and kindness in order to help achieve these goals.

Building Awareness

Please know your children may be in school and activities with other children who have Down syndrome. Educate your children…educate them to be patient and kind. Teach them to be helpful and tell them to lend a hand. Help them to understand that some children may be different, but that’s okay. Your children may be in school with my Mila, and I want her to be surrounded by love and kindness, just as you want for your children.

We need to build awareness of improper and negative use of the R-word (retarded or retard). I cannot help but feel anguish whenever I hear it, and unfortunately, I hear it everyday. It conjures up a painful stereotype of people with intellectual disabilities, and it hurts. It is cruel and offensive… not only to people with intellectual disabilities, but also to their family and friends.

Mila is perfect, just as I thought she would be. I cannot begin to explain how much I love her, and if you held her you’d know what I mean. She has taught me the beauty in life we are meant to know… more than I could ever teach myself. She has opened my eyes to an entirely different life… a life I have never known and a life I would never know if I didn’t have her. Not that I didn’t love life or appreciate it before… I just get to see it in a different light… a better, brighter, more colorful light. I feel privileged.

Be well, be kind…. God is good. Life is beautiful.

Meet Guest Blogger Erin Morrow

I am a 30-something full-time working mom of two gorgeous little girls (Jaya 3 and Mila 5 months). While growing up in Ames, Iowa, I attended school in Gilbert, Iowa. I took the plunge into marriage at a young age and have been married to my husband Ben for 11 wondrous years. My husband’s career eventually landed us in Chicago where I got my hankering for high heels and a good martini. After 4 years in the City, we decided to make the trip back to Iowa and made our home in Ankeny where we started our family.

When I’m not working or trying to start home improvement projects that are way out of the scope of my expertise or running after the rambunctious Jaya and keeping Mila fed, I am tying my hair back and taking in a game. My love of sports and exercise – and trials as mom of the year (ha ha) – keeps me on my toes. If you need me, I can usually be found in our laundry room, at the grocery store, or at the nearest coffee shop trying to soak in a moment of relaxation.