Choosing to Formula Feed

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August 1-7 is World Breastfeeding Week; and Des Moines Moms Blog is joining people in more than 170 countries in the celebration. We are pleased to bring you a series of posts this week on the topic of breastfeeding, each one coming from a different perspective.

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I don’t know the exact moment or even how I came to the conclusion that I would formula feed both of my boys. I just know that when the nurse in labor and delivery asked if I would be breastfeeding or using formula that I did not feel anything other than peace with my decision when I answered confidently that I would be formula feeding. I happily fed both of my boys formula from the beginning and will more than likely make the same decision again if we have any other children.

I know breastfeeding is a really heated topic. A topic where people don’t only care about how they feed their children but also how other people feed their children. I know that many people probably don’t understand how I could make the choice to formula feed my sons without at least giving breastfeeding a try. I know I’ve been judged for my choice, and I know that many people probably think I made the wrong choice. The thing that people probably don’t know is that I DO support breastfeeding. I think it is beautiful and wonderful and an amazing gift to give your child. I think women should be able to breastfeed their children whenever and wherever they want without feeling like they need to hide in a bathroom stall.

I also know I made the right choice for me and my family. My boys thrived on formula and are smart, happy and very healthy boys. I bonded with my boys very quickly and easily and enjoyed feeding time. I loved sharing the feeding responsibility with my husband and being able to leave the boys in the very capable hands of grandparents without thinking twice.

But even with all the things I loved about formula, I hated washing bottles and mixing up formula and trying to find just the right bottle and formula that was perfect for our baby; and I can’t say I never wondered if breastfeeding might have been easier (and, selfishly, if I would have dropped the baby weight faster).

I have to also say that I was incredibly blessed to have a husband, family, friends, OB, nurses and a family physician who supported my choice to formula feed and never made me feel guilty for my choice. No matter how you choose to feed your baby, a network of supportive people is essential in those first few months.

DSC_0695The advice I give to people who choose to formula feed either by choice or because they are forced to make the change is to own your decision. Be confident in the fact that you made the feeding choices you did because it was best for YOUR family. Never ever feel like you have to justify your reasoning or defend your choice. Never let anyone make you feel “less than” because you use formula. Don’t feel so guilty every time you give your baby a bottle of formula that you are missing out on the bonding and cuddles and peacefulness that comes with feeding time. Own your choice and when you run into people who might not agree or understand why you choose formula you will have the confidence to be a proud formula-feeding momma.

I wanted to leave you with a little something that I wrote on my personal blog, Happy Where I Stand, a few years back-

Whether you are nursing your child at a restaurant or you are shaking up a bottle of formula at the mall, we are all mothers. Mothers who are feeding our babies the best way we know how to. We are mothers that love our babies…and that is what is important.

Let’s give all Mommas, whether they made the choice to breastfeed, formula feed, pump or combo feed, some love and encouragement in the comments. Let’s raise each other up!

22 COMMENTS

  1. Love this article. I chose to formula feed both of my daughters, even amongst pressure from nurses and friends who were all, for the lack of a better term, “breast-feeding Nazis.” Formula feeding was the right choice for our family and it feels good to hear from another momma who shares the same view. Bravo.

    Katie

  2. Love love the article! You took the words right out of my mouth. I formula fed my 2 year old from the beginning and am currently doing so with #2 and I don’t regret it at all. My oldest is very smart, rarely sick and super happy! Good for you for posting this 🙂

  3. Glad you feel at peace with your decision, and weren’t judged by those around you! I tried to breastfeed, and really enjoyed it at first. Then it got stressful and we had issues and by 4 weeks I was done pumping. I never thought that would be my story, but I am really thankful for formula! If any of your readers are choosing a formula, I’d like to share this post my husband wrote about the ingredients in formula: http://wordsofwilliams.com/what-ingredients-are-in-infant-formula. I also wrote about my breastfeeding story here: http://wordsofwilliams.com/why-i-quit-breastfeeding.

  4. World Breastfeeding Week is supposed to help educate people on the benefits of breastfeeding, countering the decades of lost knowledge(and health) due to the prevalence of formula marketing. I fully agree we all need to own our own decisions for our families, but I do not see this post being appropriate or supportive in WBW. Instead it feels a little more like an attempt to increase blog hits with controversy.

    FTR, I mostly formula fed my oldest, and it was but wasn’t by choice. I didn’t have the support in how to make it work or the understanding of the lifelong health implications. I did have a closet full of ‘free’ formula for ‘just in case it didn’t work’ and family all too happy to grab a bottle. I’m glad your situation worked out for you, but mine(and many others) did not. I am still working through bonding issues 6 years later. Furthermore, you have no idea if your child will turn out healthy. It is a gamble. One very much recognized in the study released that if 90% of the US breastfed exclusively for 6 months, we’d save 13 billion in medical and other costs. Call it what you like, that’s a lot of sick babies. Thank goodness my son came second and by then I’d learned from my mistakes with my first. There’s no doubt his health would have suffered greatly if I’d chosen formula for him. I didn’t know the difficulties he’d have when I chose to breastfeed.

    I’m sure you expected a comment of this nature. So here you go. Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

    • Thanks for your feedback Stacy. Stay tuned, as we definitely have more posts about breastfeeding on the way. Our series will run all week and have different perspectives about breastfeeding from moms. We all have different experiences and are so lucky to have others around us with differing opinions so we can learn, discuss, and make the best decisions for our families.

      • At DMMB we try hard to showcase the many different choices that mother’s are faced with. We felt it was important to do that in the case of infant feeding as well. There will be many other posts over the next week where mother’s share their breastfeeding journeys. This was just my infant feeding story and I’m happy I was able to share it.

  5. Thank you Katie for this article…what a refreshing read! I also felt that formula feeding my two children was the best choice for our family! Both for our precious blessings (now 3 and 8) from God are healthy, happy and fun loving kiddos! Thanks for sharing your heart!

  6. I breastfed my first two for six months, until the complications of trying to pump at work had depleted my supply too much. I was more than ready to go longer with my third, and then I had a baby who couldn’t nurse. He was physically unable to hold a latch, due to the shape of his mouth and tongue. I visited with a lactation consultant every other day for the first six weeks, and every week until he was four months. Nothing we tried helped. Nipple shields. Tubing attached to my breast, like what adoptive moms can use to nurse. Nothing worked. I was also fortunate to live in a town with doctor who specialized in breastfeeding medicine. Even she gently suggested that it just wasn’t going to happen. The only way he could eat was through a bottle with a nipple big enough that he could squeeze with his gums, and holes made larger.

    It was after those four months of struggle, attempt to latch, pump while baby screamed, feed baby breast milk from bottle, that we all decided formula was the best route. It was when we switched that I was finally able to start to bond with him. Feeding finally became relaxed and enjoyable.

    Breastfeeding is not for everyone. Not all moms or babies are able to. In the past those babies may have died from failure to thrive. Thankfully we have better options now.

    Despite my experience, I am still a strong supporter of breastfeeding. I will stare down anyone who tries to shame a mother who is breast feeding in public. But because of my experience, I will also strongly defend a mom’s right to go with formula off the bat.

    Caring for an infant is exhausting. Regardless of feeding method. I think we should support parents and stop these silly fights about what “you” think is right.

  7. I am a breastfeeding momma and support National Breastfeeding week yet I loved this article! We should all be able to see both sides. Katie, be proud that you took a stand especially when you knew you would receive backlash from it. Woman need to lift one another up not put one another down for what they write and the choices they make. Motherhood, and being a woman in general is hard. Lets support one another! Kudos to you for standing up for what you believe in. 🙂 Oh, and after 9 months of nursing my first daughter we did transition to formula and it was fine. It actually made parts of life so much easier! With being a traveling working momma I have a feeling that my nursing journey with my second daughter will end even sooner and I am okay with that. I was formula fed and like to believe I am a pretty cool lady! 🙂

  8. Thanks for your beautiful post Katie. I appreciate your perspective and am so glad that you were willing to share your story during this important week. Information and perspectives from all sides are critical so that moms are able to make the best decision for their own family. I agree we need to own our decisions and be willing to support ALL moms in their journey, whether is is OUR personal choice or not. From another formula feeding mama to another–Thank you.

  9. Thank you for the post. One my the biggest tragedies I have ever experienced is acknowledging that BF wasn’t working in those first 3 weeks and I was about to go insane (think not sleeping, barely being able to eat and thinking about where I was going wrong constantly, pumping only 5 ml after 15 min of pumping). On the brink of succumbing to postpartum depression, I began to realize what is ‘best’ is what is good for your child, yourself, and your family. Feeding your baby is the first true parenting decision you have to make and no one should be shamed for figuring it out, either via breast or formula. I can’t help but bristle a bit when commentators project their experience and their assumptions of other people’s baby’s ‘health’ but I know that formula was the best option for my happy, healthy first.

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