Remember that one time I made a schedule and then the baby got sick and stopped sleeping and the toddler, who is a very stop-and-smell-the-roses type of child (bless her soul), decided picking flowers was more important than, say, getting anywhere on time? And the schedule laughed in my face and I had to be flexible yet again.
I can do flexible, but I am always looking for ways to better manage my time as a working mom. Enter 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam. The author’s key point is that you can make time for the things that matter to you–your dreams. She urges readers to make a list of 100 dreams, track your time, and see how you can reallocate your time working toward the dreams on your list. She also reveals that the people who appear to have it all don’t do their own laundry or clean their own house, so she’s definitely on to something.
I think the tips in her book might work better for moms with older children. And here’s why: as kids get older, the care they require becomes less intensive. They don’t need you to make sure they’re fed every two to three hours; they don’t have a rigid nap schedule to work around; they’re more flexible and able to accompany you in doing things YOU (and they) enjoy. Going for a walk or a bike ride after 7 p.m., for example. Getting your nails done or your hair cut. Reading a book at a coffee shop.
Maybe I’m doing something wrong, but this time for regeneration and refocus isn’t always present in my daily life, and that was evident in my time study.
My Time Study: How I Spent My Time
I loosely tracked my time for one week, and here’s how it broke down:
Caring for children (waking, feeding, dressing, entertaining, preventing injuries, forcing them to fall to sleep, walking three-year-old back to bed for the eighteenth time, cuddling, tickling, belly raspberries, etc.): 60.5 hours
Sleeping (with intermittent breaks to care for children): 50 hours
Housework (cleaning, tidying, laundry): 2.75 hours
Spending time with spouse (watching TV together/trying not to fall asleep in front of the TV–yeehaw!): 1 hour
Working, etc. (commuting, running errands after work, etc): 50.75 hours
My Time Study: How I Can Better Spend My Time
I didn’t spend a lot of time on housework. I didn’t do a “deep clean” this week. I usually do that every other week—if something gets spilled, suuuure, I wipe it up. But I don’t scrub the entire house every week. And I usually only dust the shelves if we’re having people over (sue me). I try to tidy every night before bed, and this is enough for me and the D. We don’t live in filth, but our surfaces may not sparkle—and we think that’s okay.
I buy our groceries online. I don’t enjoy grocery shopping–I meander through the aisles and end up buying all the peanut butter cups. It’s really best if I don’t step foot in the store. So, I spend about five minutes thinking of five different entrees we can eat during the week (usually a grilled meat + veggie, tacos, spaghetti, leftovers, and maybe something in the Crock Pot), and I order the groceries and our usual staples online for delivery to our front door. Dereck usually cooks dinner. Ten points for the hubs.
The “caring for children” category looks heavy, but that’s sort of what this mom gig is all about, and I’m thankful this was a week of quality time with my family. We spent our weekend together visiting family, attending a birthday party, and going to the Des Moines Moms Blog Family Fun Night (which was a great time!).
I didn’t spend enough time alone with my husband. And I didn’t spend time exercising.
If you looked at my list of 100 dreams, you’d see a few of my top priorities are nurturing my marriage, being an involved and caring mom, and living a healthy life. I definitely have some room for improvement and need to focus on taking time for refocus and regeneration–even if it’s just 20 minutes a day. I’m also going to make a list of 100 dreams for my work life, so I can fine-tune my prioritization process for work tasks. This all sounds so serious.
Here’s your homework assignment:
- Make a list of 100 dreams.
- Track your time for a week and see where it goes.
- Adjust to make time for the things that matter most!
